There will be plenty of times when you genuinely want to attend an event, but anxiety makes you hesitate or pulls you back at the last minute. For many people, this shows up most strongly in crowded or overstimulating environments. If that sounds familiar, it doesn’t mean you have to choose between skipping the event entirely or forcing yourself to suffer through it.
Are you struggling with your health? Perhaps you are worried about the future of your wellbeing. If that’s the case, then you should make sure that you are exploring some of the key steps that you can take to improve your overall health. Be aware that health issues are often hidden and can be impacting you without you even realizing it. Here are some of the hidden health issues that could be impacting your life right now.
As your parent grows older, you may begin noticing subtle changes in their ability to care for themselves or maintain full independence at home. Eventually, this can lead to an important family conversation: Is it still safe for them to live alone? For many, this crossroads sparks a few possible paths, becoming their primary caregiver, moving them into a care home, or exploring in-home support.
Do you feel as though your heart health isn’t quite as good as it could be? Maybe you feel as though there are steps you need to take to try and take better care of yourself, but you don’t know where to start. Either way, this is the guide for you.
In an era where remote work has become the norm, having a well-designed home office is no longer a luxury—it’s a necessity. Whether you’re an entrepreneur, a remote worker, or someone who needs a productive space at home, designing the perfect home office can affect your focus, productivity, and overall well-being. Here are five simple yet effective ways to create a space that inspires creativity and efficiency.
When you’re a single parent, there’s no denying that things can get tough. Balancing your time between your kids and your work, ensuring they get the care and attention they need while trying to manage your own emotional and physical health can be a lot to juggle. However, there are plenty of men who do it. Here are some of the resources and tips they rely on to get through it.
It’s time to start putting yourself first. There are going to be times in life where you feel like it’s okay to put yourself second, and maybe you’re right. But, overall, putting yourself first will ultimately improve your wellbeing. And, the only person who is ever going to be able to actually do this is you anyway, so why would you not? It will be so much harder to help and be able to be your best self for others if you aren’t taking care of yourself.
With the way the media dictates what beauty is in this day and age, it’s easy to become overly invested with every little detail about the way you look. People can get caught in trying to "be perfect" when that is actually unattainable. Everyone defines what they see as perfect differently, so aiming for perfection is a slippery slope.
In 2022, it is widely and thoroughly understood that the decision to quit smoking is a healthy one. The CDC’s lists of benefits that people enjoy upon quitting include boosted life expectancy; lowered risk of numerous health conditions, including cardiovascular disease and cancer; and even generally enhanced quality of life. Taking these benefits into account, it’s clear why quitting is so often framed as something of a “no-brainer” decision.
Here we are in the midst of holidays and nearing the end of 2021. I thought it would be helpful to talk about how to manage your stress during this time of year knowing that more families are getting together, more people are traveling, and well, the holidays can be stressful!
One strategy I have been talking most about in my practice over the past few months-gearing up for the holidays-has been self-compassion. When you practice self-compassion, you are being skillful and engaging in self-care.
Self-compassion is being warm and kind to yourself during a time of difficulty, failure, or feeling inadequate, rather than beating yourself up, listening to negative thoughts, or ignoring your feelings.
If you struggle with finding ways to manage your holiday stress and are quick to go down the negative thinking rabbit hole, try practicing self-compassion. It’s free, you can start today, and you only need to donate a few minutes each day (more of course if you can) to feel the results.
Here are some ways you can practice self-compassion:
Be gentle with yourself and catch those negative thoughts before they take over.
Instead of saying “I am an idiot, why did I do that,” try instead “I learn by doing, and I made a mistake. What can I learn from this experience?”
Think about what you would tell your best friend if they were in the same situation and then say that to yourself on repeat. If you are feeling stressed out because you can’t afford the big gift your loved one (such as a partner, parent, child, or friend) has been asking for, and are beating yourself up for it, would you tell your best friend “Well, suck it up buttercup. You are just going to have to buy the gift because they want it and you don’t want to disappoint them,” or would you say something more realistic and kind?
For example, I might tell my best friend, “I know you’d love to get them the big gift but financially it sounds too difficult right now. You are such a wonderful (partner, daughter/son, or parent) to want to get them the gift. Perhaps have them choose between two other gifts they want that are within your price range. Holidays are more than just the gifts we get.”
Set personal limits with family and friends.
You can’t be all things to all people.
You can set limits by creating boundary statements that help you say what it is you need.
“I would love to host this year but there is too much going on and I can’t make it happen. Someone else needs to host this year.”
“I would love to get dinner with you, but this week is hectic. I have more free time (next week/after the holidays/on Fridays) so let’s pick a time around then.”
Do something kind for yourself each day.
Go for a short walk, eat your favorite breakfast, or wear an outfit that makes you feel good.
Being kind and self-compassionate does not cost money but it does require time. Small amounts of time each day to focus on being kind to yourself while you navigate hard emotional obstacles will help you get through challenges with more ease.
Moving through heartache, grieving a loss, or dealing with hard emotions such as stress, anger, and disappointment are all a part of life. When we go through and feel these emotions, it seems as if these feelings will last forever and that we will never recover. And then, over time these feelings are less intense and subside. We learn to adapt and we recover.
That is the meaning of resilience.
If you are going through or have recently been through a challenging time, here are three key strategies to help you move forward and build your resilience along the way.
An Opportunity for Growth
With every problem, there is an opportunity for growth. Seeing the challenge as an opportunity rather than an ending allows you to see the failure, mistakes, or loss as a time of personal growth. Moving through the heartache, pain, or difficulty can help you see it as a time for you to find out more about who you are and how capable you are will naturally build resilience.
A Change in Mindset
Reframe your outlook to help you adopt and maintain perspective. When faced with emotional pain or frustration, this can feel like you are going to be in it forever. That thought alone can increase the severity of emotions someone is feeling, and make it worse. Reframing that perspective by challenging the thought will help you feel better, think more realistically, and build resilience. An example of a reframe would be, "I know it feels like this will be forever, and I know logically it's not. I have been through hard things before and came out OK. I know I will get through this too."
If you don’t know how to reframe a thought, think about what you would tell your best friend if they were in the same situation. Would you tell them "I hate to tell you but now is forever" or would you say something more realistic and kind? I bet on the latter. Whatever you'd say to your best friend, now say the same to yourself-- even if you have to say it on repeat until it starts to stick!
A Self-Care Routine
Create and engage in self-care. Taking care of yourself is important for refueling your wellbeing tank, and when going through a difficult time, making time for you will help you tolerate all the emotions you are feeling--and be able to get through the experience with more ease. Examples of self-care are getting a manicure, going for a walk, saying “no” when needed and setting limits, carving out alone time, texting or calling a friend, having a snack, reading for fun, or taking or an extra 10 minutes in the shower. It can be anything that helps you feel better.
Remember, you are stronger than you think! You’ve got this! As always, sending good energy your way
Whatever it is, the way you tell your story online can make all the difference.
Have you been feeling especially stressed or anxious lately? Do you find yourself struggling with mental and physical exhaustion and wish you could figure out a way to refuel your well-being tank?
If so, you might want to consider looking at how you are doing when it comes to setting limits and enforcing your personal boundaries.
Having personal boundaries means that you are aware of the rules and limits you have set for yourself in relationships, and are therefore able to comfortably say “no” to others when those limits have been reached.
I know many of us struggle with burnout, and one reason why running on fumes happens so often—particularly for women—is because we feel a need to say “yes” to everyone and have a hard time setting limits and boundaries.
For example, Jane had noticed at work that her coworkers would come to her regularly to ask for help, and there was a part of her that very much enjoyed helping people so she was glad she could be there for her colleagues.
She noticed that people at work were beginning to email her more, asking her to do more tasks, and she would do them because she was efficient and felt glad that people could rely on her. As time ticked on, she began to feel more stressed out and irritable at work, at times feeling anxious due to all the work she had to do, and could not understand why she was having such a difficult time.
It wasn’t until we started talking about her lack of personal boundaries that she realized saying “yes” to everyone was the main culprit.
Jane began to start delegating work back to her coworkers, scheduling in personal time (like taking a lunch break), and saying “no” to people. She realized that the company didn’t go bankrupt, her coworkers still liked her, and she felt happier at work—all because she developed her personal boundaries, knew her limits, and stuck to them.
Whatever it is, the way you tell your story online can make all the difference.
Saying yes to everyone might mean that in the short term, you are the hero; but long term, you are falling on your own sword. This is why protecting your time is so important and creating limits and personal boundaries is so necessary.
How do you know if you need help with your personal boundaries? Ask yourself these questions:
Do you have a hard time feeling like you are letting people down?
Do you struggle with making decisions?
Do you often feel taken advantage of by loved ones or colleagues?
Do you say “yes” when you would really prefer to say “no”?
Do you feel guilty when you take time for yourself?
Do you give away too much of your time?
If you answered yes to any of these questions, I encourage you to try the following.
Step one: Figure out where you need help creating boundaries. At work? In your personal life? Both?
Once you are aware of the problem area, you can begin to take action.
Step two: Create boundary statements. Having these on hand will help you feel more comfortable saying “no.” When you know what you are going to say and can hear yourself saying it, these statements become much easier to remember and use at the moment.
Some examples of boundary statements are:
“I am going to think about it before giving you an answer”
“No, but thank you”
“I can’t talk right now”
“I am not ready yet”
“I hear your point, and my answer remains the same”
“I am not able to do that”
“I am not able to do that right now, but I can ___”
Step three: Schedule in breaks or personal time. Taking a lunch break, shutting off notifications after 5 pm, or going for a walk in the middle of the day are all great ways of remembering to pay attention to yourself and setting personal boundaries.
Work isn’t going anywhere, and the more you take care of yourself, set limits, and say “no” when you need to, the more your stress levels will naturally decrease.
Take care of yourselves, and remember that, as always, I am sending good energy your way.
Now that it’s been a year, have you felt like you’ve hit your pandemic wall? Are you feeling more tired and stressed than usual, and burnt out at work? Has your overall well-being been impacted?
If you’re struggling to find the right self-care strategies to help you move through your day feeling energized, you’re not alone.
Well-being is a state of feeling happy, healthy, and comfortable. When you feel this mindset decline, you are more likely to have high levels of stress, and become more vulnerable to other challenging emotions such as irritability and sadness. This is why you want to look at what you need in your life to enhance your mood and overall well-being. What do you need to add to your life to get closer to a healthier, more positive state of mind this spring?
If you are feeling a lack of energy from your daily video calls, the lack of physical movement due to working from home, or you notice your inner critic showing up more often, now is the time to refocus and practice strategies to improve your mood and increase your wellbeing. When you take action, your stress levels will decrease, your negative thoughts will stop, and your mind and body will thank you.
If you are struggling, here are three simple strategies you can practice now to start feeling better.
Move your body, engage in exercise, and get some fresh air.
Being stuck inside for most of your waking hours can impact your mood negatively. So walk around your backyard, or take a short walk around the block. If you don’t have time to get outside, open a window and stretch, or walk around your home office. Research shows that moving our bodies positively affects our moods, so give it a try.
You can also try out different wellness and relaxation activities too. Trying something new could be just what you need to find things that work for you. It could be yoga, sound healing with singing bowls, or even going to a wellness retreat. Getting your body moving and engaging in healing activities could make a huge differnce to you
Practice appreciation every day.
When you focus your attention on what you appreciate or feel grateful for, it can shift your mood to a positive mindset. You can appreciate anything you want such as your morning cup of coffee, rolling out of bed and being in your home office five minutes later, your favorite cozy sweater, your best friend, and her amazing laugh. It can be anything!
If you make a conscious effort to say and write down three things each day that you appreciate, you will notice a decrease in negative thoughts and an overall boost to your mood.
Make yourself a priority daily.
At the beginning of every day, ask yourself how you want to take care of yourself. Each day can bring a different answer based on what you need, which means you may have to use a different skill. Asking yourself this question also means that you make yourself a priority every day!
If you found any of these tips helpful, hit reply to this email. We love to hear from you. And if you are interested in learning more general stress and anxiety management strategies, you can join the ProgressWellness.com community here.
‘Present not perfect’ are words that have been on my mind lately. It’s how perfection or wanting something to be perfect keeps us from being present.
Last month, I was thinking about skills I wanted to add back to my life, and one that came up was running. I used to run several days a week for years. When I would run, I would focus on my breathing, my body, the road ahead, and my music. This was my time--my time where I would be present in the moment. I called it my meditation.
However, after a small injury, I stopped running and never got back into the same groove I had. And over time, I stopped running altogether. I would periodically think of it over the years, and go out for a run here and there, but never made an attempt to include it back into my daily routine but I knew I missed it.
This left me wondering why I was resisting running. If I knew it brought me joy, why was I procrastinating going for a run?
And here is what I was saying to myself:
“What if I am so slow that it looks like I am just walking fast?”
“What if I don’t like running anymore?”
“What if I don’t run that far?”
“What if it’s not a perfect run?”
“What if someone in their car sees me run and says ‘wow, look at that slow woman try to run’?”
These were my thoughts! I am laughing now as I write them (especially that last one). But honestly, the doubt and worry that it wasn’t going to be a “perfect” run made me feel anxious and kept me from doing something I wanted to do again.
After seeing my thoughts staring back at me, I realized how distorted they were and I started to challenge them. I probably will be slow. It is definitely not going to be a “perfect run”, and if I ran 50 feet or a mile, no one would care. And if someone did say “look at that slowpoke trying to run” why would that matter? I wasn’t going on a run for anyone else other than for me.
Looking at my thoughts, challenging them, and getting back to why I wanted to run in the first place, helped soften my perfectionist tendencies and put the kibosh on those negative thoughts.
Reframing my negative thoughts and getting back to the “why” helped me get my running shoes on, and myself out the door. I will say that those thoughts fluttered through my mind as I took my first few steps, but they didn’t stop me and before I knew it, I was fully present running and enjoying every second.
This month, I have been on three runs, and I have felt happy with each one. I am slow, I have had some side cramps, and I’ve had to periodically walk, nothing close to whatever perfect might be, but I am so proud of myself for trying. I decided to make Friday’s my outside adventure time where I donate 20 minutes to walk, run, and be present.
I’m sharing this with you because if you want things to be perfect or you fear that they won’t be, this frame of mind can rob you of experiences, enjoyment, adventures, and being present. When you focus on perfection, you lose the meaning of why you want to do something. I wasn’t running for perfection or to become an elite athlete. I was running because it made me happy. When I returned to that, I could see how perfectionism showed me a very distorted and unhelpful view.
If you get stuck in self-doubt or have perfectionistic thinking, start by writing down your thoughts in a journal. When you see what you’re saying to yourself, it can be a bit easier to see where the distortion is and challenge it.
Next, ask yourself why you want to do that one thing perfectionism or self-doubt is keeping you from. Why is it important to you? When you focus on why you want something, it shifts your attention to more positive thoughts and helps you get back into the present moment.
I can imagine many of you are waiting eagerly to ditch 2020 to the curb and welcome 2021, hoping for less drama and way more stability. If you are, I’m with you: Yes, please!
But before we say goodbye to a year that was loaded with difficulties, I think it’s important to do a bit of reflection.
Reflection is a very helpful skill because it allows you to see where you were, how far you’ve come, and where you’re looking to go next. It creates a moment to pause and acknowledge your emotional growth.
Here are some questions you can ask yourself to help jump-start your reflection:
What skills have you learned this year?
What helped you manage the stressors you faced?
What were the stressful moments you predicted, and which moments caught you off guard?
How did you get through those moments?
What skills were helpful for you?
What did you learn about yourself?
Knowing what you know now, would you do anything differently?
Taking some time to reflect on these questions allows you to see all the work you’ve done. When we are flying by the seat of our pants and just trying to get by, we don’t usually think of pulling over and acknowledging how strong, resilient, and courageous we are. Reflecting can help notice your successes as well as help you grow from your mistakes. We all learn by doing, so knowing where you thrived and where you could have done better can only build your confidence for next time.
When I’m faced with challenges, I tend to think about something my dad used to say to me when I was in college and my emotions were flying high. He’d say “Angie, with every problem there is an opportunity for growth.” I found this very calming: Knowing that, even if stuff was hitting the fan, I’d at least learn something about myself and emotionally grow from it helped keep me grounded. Now I know why. It’s because being able to reflect creates opportunities to acknowledge growth.
2020 certainly laid the challenges on thick, and maybe you think you’d rather not revisit all that. But before the New Year, I encourage you to reflect and write down your successes and what coping strategies helped you.
Having this data will give you a moment to celebrate and also help you move through future challenges with more ease. You’ll know what strategies helped you, and you’ll have the knowledge that, even when faced with challenges, you had successes.
And as my holiday gift to you, I’ve put all my stress management products on sale until December 31! Just use the code Holiday2020 at checkout to receive 20% off your order. Here’s to the last month of 2020!
As always, I am sending good energy your way.
Don’t miss the recent Redfin article I was featured in: “Experts Reveal How to Create a More Productive Home Office Setup this Winter”
As many of us continue to work from home this winter, you may be looking for creative ways to stay productive during the colder months. Before, we were able to take advantage of the warmer weather, go on a quick walk outside, and had plenty of sunlight pouring into our home office setup. But as the sun begins to set earlier and the cold temperatures are here to stay, staying motivated may become more of a challenge. The good news is, there are plenty of ways to combat the winter gloom and boost your productivity as you work from home.
Redfin reached out to me, along with other top productivity experts, for our advice to help make your home office setup a more productive work environment. So whether you’re living in snowy Detroit or rainy Seattle, these expert tips are guaranteed to help make your home office a place of inspiration and motivation. Check out what we had to say. My commentary is towards the bottom of the article.
Experts Reveal How to Create a More Productive Home Office Setup this Winter
