Here we are with summer in full swing, a time that used to be about vacations and enjoying a nice, quiet pause. But right now, those options are not really available, and many of us are struggling with that. That’s partly because built-in summer breaks are usually a good opportunity to declutter our minds from stress.
Without a much-needed break, you might be feeling more stressed and notice your mind more cluttered with worry and to-do lists. And you’re right, that’s probably at least partly because you don’t have that weekend getaway, a planned staycation, or kids going to camp on the schedule.
So how do you quiet your mind and refocus when the schedule you thought you’d have changed, or when the break you anticipated gets kicked further down the road, leaving you feeling stranded? We have to find other ways to declutter our minds.
Here are three skills you can try today to work on getting some brain space back!
Declutter your physical space. Start by checking your work or living space. If your physical environment is cluttered, it can lead to mental clutter. When we start to feel overwhelmed or distracted, when our minds are stuffed to the brim, our physical space can start to represent how we are feeling.
The inside of our car might look like a teenager’s room, or our workspace might be overcrowded with paper and leftover coffee mugs. When our minds are cluttered, we often feel like we don’t have much bandwidth to take care of our environment. But taking care of that environment can often help us take care of our minds.
This isn’t to say you need to have a spotless house or office to make this strategy work for you. Try cleaning up or organizing your workspace or that one room in your house that’s your “mindful zone” or “Zen space.” See how that makes you feel.
Practice journaling. This skill can take as little as two minutes, and it can make a huge difference. Think of your journal as a place where you just fill pages with your thoughts, worries, and mental lists. When we carry our thoughts with us in our minds alone, it rarely helps us process or organize what we are thinking about or decide how to prioritize what’s most important.
Everything just ends up being a jumbled mess internally, creating more stress and more clutter in our thoughts and emotions. Writing things down not only creates space in our brains, but it also allows us to tangibly see what we are thinking and gives us an opportunity to organize, prioritize, and problem-solve.
Take one thing at a time. When we’re overwhelmed, sometimes we quickly jump from task to task in an effort to get everything done at once, but then we end up feeling like we’ve gotten nowhere with anything. I often think about a conveyor belt for this strategy. There might be many things on the conveyor belt, but you can only pick up one thing at a time.
Multitasking can be helpful at times, but when you are trying to declutter your mind, taking on many tasks at once only adds to the clutter. Write down (journal!) what’s on your conveyor belt, organize and prioritize, and tackle one thing at a time. You will notice your mind feeling more free!
I hope you find these strategies helpful.
Coping by Contributing
I know many of you may feel overwhelmed right now, and that’s understandable. There is a lot happening in our country and our world, and 2020 continues to challenge us. But with every challenge, there is an opportunity for growth.
As we all continue to grapple with managing a pandemic, many are also opening their eyes to racial disparities in our society, moving to a new understanding of others’ lived experiences and hoping for the changes championed by the Black Lives Matter movement.
I have been hearing from a lot from people who say they want to be an active participant in changing our world but feel overwhelmed by feelings of anger, sadness, anxiety, and stress. While some people have jumped into fighting for causes actively by protesting or have started reading, listening, or finding other ways to move forward, it is also natural to not know what to do—especially when it feels like there is so much to do.
So if you’re feeling stuck, here is one skill I often recommend that can help decrease feelings of stress and funnel your sadness, anger, and anxiety into a positive outcome.
Contributing is the art of giving to others in the form of time, talent, or treasure. When we give, it awakens a sense of meaning and purpose in our lives.
Contributing does not have to be a grand gesture. Of course, you can donate your time or money to a cause or charity you believe in. But contributing is also about making personal connections with others. When we do that, not only do we positively affect someone else, our own mood improves as well.
Giving to others can also create a sense of hopefulness and belonging within ourselves. These are all good things!
If you’re looking for ideas of how you can contribute in ways big or small, here are some examples:
Call or FaceTime someone just to say hello. Hearing a friendly voice can go a long way for someone (and for you)!
Check on a friend or neighbor.
Help someone with a grocery run or other chore (mow their lawn, water their plants, etc.).
Buy items from local businesses that need support.
Say hello to others who walk past you on the street to show solidarity.
Read articles and books on topics that are important to you to help you become a better ally.
Sign a petition to make your voice heard.
Donate time to a charity or cause you believe in.
Donate money to a charity or cause you believe in.
Go to a protest if you feel comfortable doing so.
This list showcases a wide range of options for contributing—and of course, there are many I am leaving out. But if you are feeling at a loss for what to do or where to start, making contributions is a great skill that can help shift your mindset and find your way forward. It may seem simple, but it goes a long way—both for you and for others.
Small Things Can Improve the Moment
Photo was taken during one of my mindful walks with my daughter!
As days blur into months, many of us feel like we are living in a time warp. The good news is April has arrived, and that means it is staying lighter out longer, which will hopefully help many people feel better even if we are stuck inside. Light can help improve mood. So open your shades and windows to let that light in, if you can, especially if you can’t go for a walk or step outside.
Over the past month, I have had several clients ask what a stress expert like me was doing to cope through this challenging and stressful time. Good question!
Below are the top three skills that I am using every day. For me, these skills are connected to my life as a parent. But they can really help anyone, no matter your situation. I hope they will give you a jumping-off point for how to create your own set of skills. Just like letting in the light, small tweaks and additions in our lives can help improve the moment and decrease overall stress!
All together, these three skills take 65 minutes of my day. Each skill provides a different level of enjoyment. Combined, these 65 minutes are what helps me manage my stress and cope through all the current uncertainty throughout the rest of each day. And one of the best things about these skills is that you can take as little or as much time as you want with each of them.
My Best Three Skills Right Now
Waking up 30 minutes early to lounge in bed.
This is a luxury I have not had in my life for almost two years, and I will definitely be keeping this skill. Pre-parent life, lounging in bed was my thing on weekend mornings. If it were a sport, I would have been a great competitor.
But after becoming a mom, that stopped overnight. Adding this back into my routine has been restorative. Instead of sleeping in, I wake up 30 minutes earlier so I can read the news, check personal email, and goof around on my phone—all while nice and cozy under the covers. And since my husband is already up and out of bed, I also make a point of spreading out— I call it starfishing! It’s a wonderful 30 minutes.
Appreciating my morning cup of coffee, especially the smell and the first few sips.
I take in the scent as it brews and sneak the first few sips in before I go upstairs to get my daughter ready for her day. Of course, I have had coffee in my life for many years. But for a while, I had been getting my morning cup at a local coffee shop before I headed to the office and drinking it at work. I had forgotten how nice it is to smell freshly brewed coffee in the morning. See? It really can be about the little things!
Taking mindfulness walks.
I never took them before the pandemic. When I would walk to work, I was always on the phone or listening to a podcast. Yes, this was still “me time,” but rarely did I feel in the present moment. And when I would go on weekend adventures with my daughter, we’d go to places she could run around and explore, so I was focused on making sure she didn’t get hurt.
Now we walk together, and I keep my phone away. We walk and talk; point at colors, birds, trees, and fun window boxes; and say hello to the dogs (from six feet away, of course!).
These types of walks are a new skill I did not have before. Now I get to look around and practice appreciation, and I really get to enjoy seeing my daughter have fun up close. I come back from these walks feeling lighter, more grounded, and ready to start my day. When the day comes where I can head back to the office, I know I will very much miss these walks—and realizing that helps me appreciate time in general. This is time I get with her that I did not have before, and we all know how quickly time often seems to go! Who knew one skill could give so much?
You never know what skills and strategies are going to work for you and stick around long-term, so I recommend trying lots of things out at least a few times. Even if your initial thought is “that’s not for me,” give it a go!
I did not think about adding an extra 30 minutes to my morning until I saw my husband do it. I love my sleep, so I was honestly skeptical this would work for me. But I decided to try it, and now I look forward to that time and cherish it.
I hope you can find some help with these skills. I’d be curious to know how they go for you.