Coping by Contributing

I know many of you may feel overwhelmed right now, and that’s understandable. There is a lot happening in our country and our world, and 2020 continues to challenge us. But with every challenge, there is an opportunity for growth. 
 
As we all continue to grapple with managing a pandemic, many are also opening their eyes to racial disparities in our society, moving to a new understanding of others’ lived experiences and hoping for the changes championed by the Black Lives Matter movement.
 
I have been hearing from a lot from people who say they want to be an active participant in changing our world but feel overwhelmed by feelings of anger, sadness, anxiety, and stress.  While some people have jumped into fighting for causes actively by protesting or have started reading, listening, or finding other ways to move forward, it is also natural to not know what to do—especially when it feels like there is so much to do.
 
So if you’re feeling stuck, here is one skill I often recommend that can help decrease feelings of stress and funnel your sadness, anger, and anxiety into a positive outcome.
 
Contributing is the art of giving to others in the form of time, talent, or treasure. When we give, it awakens a sense of meaning and purpose in our lives.
 
Contributing does not have to be a grand gesture. Of course, you can donate your time or money to a cause or charity you believe in. But contributing is also about making personal connections with others. When we do that, not only do we positively affect someone else, our own mood improves as well.
 
Giving to others can also create a sense of hopefulness and belonging within ourselves. These are all good things!  
 
If you’re looking for ideas of how you can contribute in ways big or small, here are some examples:

• Call or FaceTime someone just to say hello. Hearing a friendly voice can go a long way for someone (and for you)!

• Check on a friend or neighbor.

• Help someone with a grocery run or other chore (mow their lawn, water their plants, etc.).

• Buy items from local businesses that need support.

• Say hello to others who walk past you on the street to show solidarity.

• Read articles and books on topics that are important to you to help you become a better ally.

• Sign a petition to make your voice heard.

• Donate time to a charity or cause you believe in.

• Donate money to a charity or cause you believe in.

• Go to a protest if you feel comfortable doing so. 

This list showcases a wide range of options for contributing—and of course, there are many I am leaving out. But if you are feeling at a loss for what to do or where to start, making contributions is a great skill that can help shift your mindset and find your way forward. It may seem simple, but it goes a long way—both for you and for others.
 

How to Manage Stress in Uncertain Times

Who knew when I decided to create a spring series focusing on stress management that there would be a pandemic and all of our stress levels would shoot through the roof? Not me.
 
2020 is giving us a run for our money, and now it’s more important than ever to learn how to manage our stress so it doesn’t permanently move into our lives.
 
What I’ve been hearing about most from people over the past two weeks is the stress of managing uncertainty.
 
There is an understanding that most things in our lives are uncertain, but moving through our general fast-paced days pre-pandemic, we could forget that fact. But now uncertainty is screaming at us. And with this much uncertainty, stress is never very far behind.
 
When will this be over?
When can I go back to work?
What if I get sick or someone I know gets sick?
Will this happen again?
When can I see my friends?
 
These are all good questions, and not having the answers right now gives stress a good chance of taking over our lives. So how do you manage stress when feeling bogged down by uncertainty?
 
Here’s one tried and true strategy I live by (I’ve been using it for the past two weeks) and want to share with you:
 
Break tasks into slivers, not chunks.

Breaking any task that causes stress into smaller pieces causes a big picture idea—which can feel overwhelming—to get slivered out into several small and more manageable bits, creating steps toward the bigger goal. This strategy allows us to see a way through to the end. That’s why it’s one of my favorites. Seeing slivers gives a starting point. Chunks can create panic.
 
For example, looking at our current situation as a chunk can get overwhelming very quickly. Then the questions I listed above have room to grow in our minds. We don’t know the answers, and that alone can cause stress. So I suggest slivering this situation out to make the unknown less daunting.
 
An example of a sliver would be “I got through yesterday and today is going OK so far.” That is honestly as far as any of us can go with being certain about anything, and saying a statement like that to ourselves can help us get into the present, to focus on what we are doing in the moment instead of looking into the uncertain future.
 
Another way to sliver what we’re all going through would be to create something you look forward to each day or adding something concrete and certain to your schedule. This could be a work-related task, a call with friends, or household chores that you haven’t had time for until recently.

Creating some structure or focusing on something that will make you feel good or you know you have to do (you might dislike laundry, but clean sheets can feel nice!) helps break down the unknown into some certainty: “I know what’s coming today; I’m going to do laundry.”
 
Staying mindful and focused on slivers reduces stress and helps us take it one step at a time, one day at a time. That’s why I always say: Slivers, not chunks.
 
I encourage you to practice breaking your day into slivers. See if that helps improve your focus and decrease any stress you are feeling through this uncertainty.
 
If you are interested in learning more about managing your stress, I also encourage you to check out my online store, where I offer tons of skills to manage all types of stress.

Stressed? Here’s How to Manage It

Welcome to the Progress Wellness newsletter spring series! Last summer I got great feedback on a series of newsletters and blog posts that focused on mindfulness strategies. So, I decided to start spring a little early with this new series on stress management. Over the next several months, I will be focusing on different types of stress and specific skills to manage it all. Hooray!

I felt this was an important topic to explore because when stress starts working against us, we become unproductive and unhappy. This is why having effective coping skills to manage stress is imperative to our well-being.  
 
Stress is something most of us have felt at some point in our lives. But how can we define it? Well, stress is an emotional strain—usually caused by life events—that can negatively affect how we think and perceive situations, impacting our internal well-being.
 
Here are just a few examples:

• You’re experiencing a lack of sleep, or you’re having difficulty falling or staying asleep.

• You’re experiencing ruminative thinking, which means you’re having a hard time shutting off your mind from your worried thoughts. It almost feels as if those worried thoughts are like a running stream in your mind, a stream that never rests.

• Your mind is engaging in negative self-dialogue, meaning your inner thoughts are beating you up. Phrases like “I can’t do this,” “I am going to look like an idiot,” or “I have no idea what to do” are common refrains. 

Do these symptoms resonate with you?
 
If you’re experiencing stress, here is one strategy I often recommend trying as a first line of defense:
 
Make a list of all the things you would like to do or get back to doing—aka self-care!  This could be making sure you’re still saying your favorite mantra periodically throughout the day; getting back into your favorite hobbies; learning something, like a new language or recipe; taking quick breaks at work; scheduling time to see friends; or even creating alone time. Or why not more than one!?
 
Once you have your list, ask yourself which thing you first want to incorporate into your life. How can you choose?

I recommend that you start with an item that is relatively easy to incorporate into your schedule. Then, once that’s part of your routine, consider adding in another. Think about adding these things into your schedule like you would a meeting in your calendar. This strategy can increase the likelihood of the routine sticking—and at the very least it can give you a visual reminder that you want to improve self-care!
 
Even small positive shifts in self-care can have dramatic effects in reducing stress levels.
 
If you’re interested in becoming an expert in managing your stress and kicking it to the curb once and for all, check out my online stress management course, covering in-depth strategies to combat every type of stress. The course includes printable worksheets and access to a private Facebook group, where I host a weekly livestream and answer questions for course members.
 
As always, I am sending good energy your way!