Stressed? Here’s How to Manage It

Welcome to the Progress Wellness newsletter spring series! Last summer I got great feedback on a series of newsletters and blog posts that focused on mindfulness strategies. So, I decided to start spring a little early with this new series on stress management. Over the next several months, I will be focusing on different types of stress and specific skills to manage it all. Hooray!

I felt this was an important topic to explore because when stress starts working against us, we become unproductive and unhappy. This is why having effective coping skills to manage stress is imperative to our well-being.  
 
Stress is something most of us have felt at some point in our lives. But how can we define it? Well, stress is an emotional strain—usually caused by life events—that can negatively affect how we think and perceive situations, impacting our internal well-being.
 
Here are just a few examples:

• You’re experiencing a lack of sleep, or you’re having difficulty falling or staying asleep.

• You’re experiencing ruminative thinking, which means you’re having a hard time shutting off your mind from your worried thoughts. It almost feels as if those worried thoughts are like a running stream in your mind, a stream that never rests.

• Your mind is engaging in negative self-dialogue, meaning your inner thoughts are beating you up. Phrases like “I can’t do this,” “I am going to look like an idiot,” or “I have no idea what to do” are common refrains. 

Do these symptoms resonate with you?
 
If you’re experiencing stress, here is one strategy I often recommend trying as a first line of defense:
 
Make a list of all the things you would like to do or get back to doing—aka self-care!  This could be making sure you’re still saying your favorite mantra periodically throughout the day; getting back into your favorite hobbies; learning something, like a new language or recipe; taking quick breaks at work; scheduling time to see friends; or even creating alone time. Or why not more than one!?
 
Once you have your list, ask yourself which thing you first want to incorporate into your life. How can you choose?

I recommend that you start with an item that is relatively easy to incorporate into your schedule. Then, once that’s part of your routine, consider adding in another. Think about adding these things into your schedule like you would a meeting in your calendar. This strategy can increase the likelihood of the routine sticking—and at the very least it can give you a visual reminder that you want to improve self-care!
 
Even small positive shifts in self-care can have dramatic effects in reducing stress levels.
 
If you’re interested in becoming an expert in managing your stress and kicking it to the curb once and for all, check out my online stress management course, covering in-depth strategies to combat every type of stress. The course includes printable worksheets and access to a private Facebook group, where I host a weekly livestream and answer questions for course members.
 
As always, I am sending good energy your way!

Stress Management and the Holiday Season

The holidays are fast approaching, and that can bring both excitement and stress rolled up into one tangled ball. That’s why I wanted to focus this month’s newsletter on strategies that help target holiday stress! I know we’re all extra short on time during this season, so let’s get to it.

Stress Busters for the Holiday Season

The bathroom! This is an underused strategy, in my opinion. The bathroom is a room that offers so many options. After just a few minutes in this porcelain haven, you could leave feeling more grounded and mindful.

A trip to the bathroom offers periodic pauses, opportunities to breathe and take a needed brain break. The skills I have listed for this strategy only take a few minutes—just long enough for you regroup without making others think you disappeared.

*Run warm or cold water on your wrists. This can be very soothing and calming. Or splash cold water on your face!

*Sit on the edge of the tub (if there is one) and describe the room to yourself. What do you see? Are there tiles? Is there a pattern? What colors do you see? Can you hear anything? A vent perhaps? Dripping water?

Say your answers aloud. You can say it all in a whisper if you prefer, but it’s better to do it verbally as it helps increase focus on the skill.

*Play a quick game on your phone. Word puzzles can be a fun break from whatever else is running through your mind.

*Watch a two-minute YouTube video of something funny or lighthearted.

*Do push-ups against the wall.

*Practice deep-breathing exercises, either while sitting or standing. You can try breathing in through your belly to the count of four and exhaling to the count of eight. Or find a different breathing technique that works for you. If counting isn’t your thing, that’s OK! There are so many out there, I know you can find one that you like.

*Text friends to check-in and take yourself out of your current situation.

Who knew you could be so skillful in a bathroom! Going out to a restaurant for a holiday dinner instead of going to someone’s home or hosting? No problem! Most of these skills can be used or tweaked to work in public restrooms.

Appreciation is another skill that can be particularly helpful during the holidays. Practicing appreciation increases awareness that you have things to be grateful for, which can help reduce challenging emotions such as anger, anxiety, sadness, and stress.

Even the smallest thing we can come up with creates a positive shift in our brains. Feeling appreciation causes us to pay attention to what we do enjoy, have, and love, and leaves less room for any negative thoughts.

Give it a try! What are five things you appreciate at this very moment? It can be anything. Here are mine: I am grateful that I have eyes that can see, for my morning coffee in my Britney Spears mug, for the work I am doing, for my daughter and family, and for having the heat on this cold November day.

The idea is to practice both skills now, that way they will be on the front burner of your brain when you need them. There are a few days left before Thanksgiving. What skills will you be practicing to help prep for the day?

As always, I am sending good energy your way!

How to Cope Ahead

It’s October and fall is in the air. While some people look forward to this season—the clothes, the Charlie Brown specials, and pumpkin spice everything—others really struggle.

Many people will naturally start to make fewer plans and hunker inside at home as the months get colder and darker, and that can make some people feel lonely. And if you live in New England, these months can linger until April!

Because this change in seasons has the potential to wreak havoc on our moods, I wanted to share one of my favorite coping skills that can help during this time of year.

Coping ahead can be a tremendously helpful skill, and it’s one that often gets overlooked. Coping ahead is like getting your armor on before going into battle: If you know that the darker months are more challenging on your mood (which is the battle), why would you go forward without any prep work (armor)?

That’s where coping ahead comes in! If you know you are going into something challenging, think about what skills you might need to have or develop to cope through it. Having a game plan sets us up for success better than winging it.

So let’s talk through a good first step in that game plan, which I hope will help you start coping ahead for the fall and beyond: planning out some structure.

Those who know me know that I’m big on this! Having at least an outline of structure can give you options for how to get through a challenging time. What might you consider structure? Here are some ideas!

Make a list of friends you might want to see, and then make some plans. Coffee dates during the work day; snacks before heading home after work; or weekend gatherings at a friend’s house, a café, or your place (if you don’t mind hosting). Think about how much social time you’d like to have this fall, and start making those tentative plans now.

Another way to create structure ahead of time is to start making a list of fun movies or books to enjoy. You can also choose some cafés or libraries you’d like to go to, places where you can be around others while you have a treat, do some journaling, or listen to a podcast.

If you’re finding this hard, try going for treatment. Getting some real professional support is often the catalyst you need to start making progress faster and getting to where you want to go quicker. You can often obtain new approaches and ideas that enable you to feel more doing the things you know you should be doing, but can’t. 

Being around others even when we are alone can help improve our mood. And mapping out a tentative schedule can provide a sense of comfort and provide a more positive perspective before and during these fall and winter months.

PS If you are interested in learning more about the skills and strategies in this newsletter, among others, please check out my online course.