The holidays are fast approaching, and that can bring both excitement and stress rolled up into one tangled ball. That’s why I wanted to focus this month’s newsletter on strategies that help target holiday stress! I know we’re all extra short on time during this season, so let’s get to it.
Stress Busters for the Holiday Season
The bathroom! This is an underused strategy, in my opinion. The bathroom is a room that offers so many options. After just a few minutes in this porcelain haven, you could leave feeling more grounded and mindful.
A trip to the bathroom offers periodic pauses, opportunities to breathe and take a needed brain break. The skills I have listed for this strategy only take a few minutes—just long enough for you regroup without making others think you disappeared.
*Run warm or cold water on your wrists. This can be very soothing and calming. Or splash cold water on your face!
*Sit on the edge of the tub (if there is one) and describe the room to yourself. What do you see? Are there tiles? Is there a pattern? What colors do you see? Can you hear anything? A vent perhaps? Dripping water?
Say your answers aloud. You can say it all in a whisper if you prefer, but it’s better to do it verbally as it helps increase focus on the skill.
*Play a quick game on your phone. Word puzzles can be a fun break from whatever else is running through your mind.
*Watch a two-minute YouTube video of something funny or lighthearted.
*Do push-ups against the wall.
*Practice deep-breathing exercises, either while sitting or standing. You can try breathing in through your belly to the count of four and exhaling to the count of eight. Or find a different breathing technique that works for you. If counting isn’t your thing, that’s OK! There are so many out there, I know you can find one that you like.
*Text friends to check-in and take yourself out of your current situation.
Who knew you could be so skillful in a bathroom! Going out to a restaurant for a holiday dinner instead of going to someone’s home or hosting? No problem! Most of these skills can be used or tweaked to work in public restrooms.
Appreciation is another skill that can be particularly helpful during the holidays. Practicing appreciation increases awareness that you have things to be grateful for, which can help reduce challenging emotions such as anger, anxiety, sadness, and stress.
Even the smallest thing we can come up with creates a positive shift in our brains. Feeling appreciation causes us to pay attention to what we do enjoy, have, and love, and leaves less room for any negative thoughts.
Give it a try! What are five things you appreciate at this very moment? It can be anything. Here are mine: I am grateful that I have eyes that can see, for my morning coffee in my Britney Spears mug, for the work I am doing, for my daughter and family, and for having the heat on this cold November day.
The idea is to practice both skills now, that way they will be on the front burner of your brain when you need them. There are a few days left before Thanksgiving. What skills will you be practicing to help prep for the day?
As always, I am sending good energy your way!
How to Cope Ahead
It’s October and fall is in the air. While some people look forward to this season—the clothes, the Charlie Brown specials, and pumpkin spice everything—others really struggle.
Many people will naturally start to make fewer plans and hunker inside at home as the months get colder and darker, and that can make some people feel lonely. And if you live in New England, these months can linger until April!
Because this change in seasons has the potential to wreak havoc on our moods, I wanted to share one of my favorite coping skills that can help during this time of year.
Coping ahead can be a tremendously helpful skill, and it’s one that often gets overlooked. Coping ahead is like getting your armor on before going into battle: If you know that the darker months are more challenging on your mood (which is the battle), why would you go forward without any prep work (armor)?
That’s where coping ahead comes in! If you know you are going into something challenging, think about what skills you might need to have or develop to cope through it. Having a game plan sets us up for success better than winging it.
So let’s talk through a good first step in that game plan, which I hope will help you start coping ahead for the fall and beyond: planning out some structure.
Those who know me know that I’m big on this! Having at least an outline of structure can give you options for how to get through a challenging time. What might you consider structure? Here are some ideas!
Make a list of friends you might want to see, and then make some plans. Coffee dates during the work day; snacks before heading home after work; or weekend gatherings at a friend’s house, a café, or your place (if you don’t mind hosting). Think about how much social time you’d like to have this fall, and start making those tentative plans now.
Another way to create structure ahead of time is to start making a list of fun movies or books to enjoy. You can also choose some cafés or libraries you’d like to go to, places where you can be around others while you have a treat, do some journaling, or listen to a podcast.
If you’re finding this hard, try going for treatment. Getting some real professional support is often the catalyst you need to start making progress faster and getting to where you want to go quicker. You can often obtain new approaches and ideas that enable you to feel more doing the things you know you should be doing, but can’t.
Being around others even when we are alone can help improve our mood. And mapping out a tentative schedule can provide a sense of comfort and provide a more positive perspective before and during these fall and winter months.
PS If you are interested in learning more about the skills and strategies in this newsletter, among others, please check out my online course.
Summer Series Part 3: Mindfulness
As the summer comes to a close, some of us might be excited to move onto the next season, but some of us might be feeling sad or stressed about the upcoming transition. Changes in seasons can bring about lots of emotions for many different reasons. This is why I wanted to focus on mindfulness for the third and final lesson of the Progress Wellness summer series!
Mindfulness is a wonderful skill to practice because when we are feeling worried, stressed, or anxious (like some of us are when seasons change), being present can be difficult. But it can also be very helpful in those very same moments.
So what is mindfulness?
Mindfulness is the art of being in the present moment. It’s being aware of where we are and what we are doing, while observing our own thoughts, feelings, and physical sensations, all without reacting to them.
Yet mindfulness can sometimes feel like an abstract idea that’s impossible to attain. But just like any skill set, the more we practice, the better we become. Mindfulness can help reduce anxiety, stress, and depression—and there’s research to back that up! The more we practice mindfulness, the better we feel, and the more present we are.
There are many different ways to practice mindfulness. Often people think practicing mindfulness means they need to meditate, sit still, or close their eyes for a period of time. While some do enjoy practicing mindfulness in that way, there are plenty of other ways we can engage in mindfulness too. And the good news is that we can do most of these things for however long we want, whenever we want—even right now!
Below are some surprising ways people practice mindfulness:
Exercise (running, walking, lifting weights, yoga, etc.)
Cooking
Working on a puzzle
Gardening
Naming five things you can see, hear, and touch
Deep breathing exercises
Listening to a guided meditation (in person or digitally)
As you can see, mindfulness comes in many different packages. The idea is to find something that allows you to participate in the moment. For those who enjoy using cooking as a mindfulness strategy, they are fully engaged at that moment, focusing on the smells, tastes, and textures of the dish they are preparing. Or deep breathing exercises help people focus on their breath—each moment they take a deep breath in or out, their mind is present and focused on their body.
During your mindfulness practice, you might notice that your mind wanders off and you begin thinking about something else, maybe about your worries or anxieties. When that happens, just notice it and bring your attention back to the moment. It’s all a natural part of practicing the art of mindfulness.
If you would like to learn more about mindfulness, check out my YouTube channel! I cover this topic in more depth and also demonstrate a quick 30-second mindfulness strategy.